Our world today is destructively confused when it comes to gender, sexuality, and marriage. In this context, God’s people must not simply follow what we feel is right, but what God says is right. The early chapters of the Bible make it clear that God created marriage. Genesis 1-2 especially lay an important foundation for our understanding of God’s design for marriage.
Genesis 2 shows us that God designed marriage to be a complementary union of husband and wife. In marriage, one man and one woman join together in a covenant relationship, and this is the only God-ordained context for sexual intimacy.
Genesis 1-2 declare that man and woman are equal before God. The marriage union is a union of equals. God created both male and female in his image (Gen 1:27). Thus, husband and wife share an equality in dignity and worth. Neither can or should claim superiority.
At the same time, man and woman are not the same. They are equals, but also have differences biologically and functionally. Husband and wife are equals, but not equivalent. They occupy different roles in the marriage relationship, and this is part of God’s good design for marriage from the beginning—before sin ever entered the world.
The Husband’s Role: Leader and Servant
Genesis 2 demonstrates that God created the man to have a leadership role in the home and in the mission of God. Several key details suggest this conclusion. (1) God created the man first (1 Tim 2:12-13). (2) God gave the command to the man before he created the woman. Adam was to be a spiritual leader in the Garden. He was responsible to make sure he and his wife knew and trusted God’s Word.
(3) God designated the man to protect the garden (Gen 2:15). (4) Adam names his wife (not vice versa), which shows love and leadership. God gave Adam the role of spiritual leader and protector as he lived with his wife in God’s Garden Temple.
Therefore, God calls husbands to be the spiritual leaders in their homes. Christian husbands need to step up and lead their wives and children spiritually. They should be initiating spiritual conversations and times of family worship in their homes. They should be praying with their wives and talking about God’s Word together. Husbands should be the first to prioritize gathering with the church and striving to set an example in pursuing holiness and confessing sin.
It is all too true that many men have abused this idea. Yet, the Bible’s teaching about the husband’s leadership is no excuse for any man to be domineering and controlling. Spiritual leadership is not about being served. It’s about serving and sacrificing. It’s about giving up other things you could be doing to seek the good of your wife. That’s God’s design for a complementary marriage. It’s not about domineering authority. It’s about loving service.
God’s design for marriage is for the husband to occupy the role of spiritual leader, servant, and protector.
The Wife’s Role: Helper and Partner
God created the woman to support the man and join him in the mission of God. The woman is indispensable and equal to the man. She has an irreplaceable role to play. She will be the companion and helper to the man and fill up what he lacks. Together, they were called to fill the world with God’s image. The woman will be the one to give birth to new little image bearers in the world.
This is no lesser role. We don’t need to follow the world and think that unless men and women are exactly the same in every way, there is inequality. The role God gave Eve in the Garden was glorious. She was to respect her husband’s loving leadership and be a loving partner in the mission of God.
Matthew Henry put it memorably in his comment on God’s creating Eve out of Adam’s rib: “Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.”1
Marriage and Partnership in Mission
God designed marriage to be a complementary union of husband and wife as companions and partners in God’s mission. Husband and wife are partners in the mission God has given his people. Adam and Eve’s marriage wasn’t just about them. It was about joining together in the mission God had given them to proclaim his kingdom and rule creation as his son and daughter.
Christian marriages retain a similar purpose: to partner together for the sake of God’s kingdom in this world. Christian couples join a church together and strive to play their part in proclaiming God’s kingdom. If God gives them children, they faithfully teach their children about God and point them to Jesus.
Tim Chester writes in his book Gospel-Centered Marriage, “Introverted marriages eventually shrivel—they become small marriages with small horizons. Your family is part of a bigger family of faith that demands your primary allegiance (Mark 3 v 31-35).”2
Marriage is for companionship. Husband and wife should truly enjoy being with one another. But marriage is also for mission. Together, husband and wife take part in the mission of the church and share the good news about Jesus, starting in their own home. Their home becomes another little outpost for God’s kingdom, where those who enter sense that Christ is King here.
God designed marriage to be a complementary union of husband and wife as companions and partners in God’s mission. Marriage is God’s creation. It is a good gift. But we also must not forget that marriage is for God. Therefore, let those of us who are married seek his glory by living according to his design for marriage.
This post was adapted from the sermon below:
